turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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