North Korea, Best Korea!
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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