did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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