There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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