before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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