ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
is it fun? or sober?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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