brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Randomize
