trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
