I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Everything about him screamed your future.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
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