Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize