That's when you crack a 10am beer
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
