I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
