Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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