i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize