apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
