I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
