who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
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