I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
