Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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