So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
