Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
