what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
