I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
It's just like the Real World with babies
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
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