New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
