we have officially lost it.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Randomize
