Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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