Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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