so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
