I want to make a zoo with you.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
