I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
50% drunk capacity currently
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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