I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
