Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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