glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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