Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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