I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
