im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
The beer is more important than you right now.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Randomize
