R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Couch. On fire.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
