My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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