Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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