i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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