He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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