yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
