Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
