you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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