these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Randomize
