this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
She's the barista slut.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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