i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize