I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize