You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
