So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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