Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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