This girl is more easily done than said...
how do flat chested girls get laid?
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
