I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
