I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
