Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
