you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
