she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
