I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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