if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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