Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
