Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
